My dad said he didn’t want me as a daughter anymore.
Because I got baptized.
It was my 21st birthday.
I had to pick.
But can you even??
Can you choose to give up the only ones you’ve ever loved-—everything tangible in your entire life as you know it- over the idea…over a hope of a supposed God you are just hearing about.
Could you choose hope over everything you’ve ever know that’s right there in front of you?
I didn’t feel brave.
Or strong.
I just didn’t think he meant it.
But I also don’t think he thought I would choose the latter,
& so when I did,
I think he was hurt enough to follow through.
It was many years that felt dreadfully long.
And this was jusssssst the beginning of consistent and painful sacrifice that always felt thirsty to rip away even more from me.
All in the name of following…a hope…of Him.
Many of you have felt the pain from loved ones because we are living different than they wanted or taught.
It’s been many yrs of self-reflection to realize—NO, not justifying hurt others cause us–but seeing it differently, that—
loved ones wanting so badly this great life for us,
and when it’s not going in the way they think leads to that, panic & fear set in.
By choosing a different and unknown to them— fear of not knowing what will come of it—‘what will what look like??’ I don’t know if that path leads to a great life, or to fulfillment b/c I don’t know that path‘
People can be really mean when they are scared.
Regardless —
I truly believe living a life of thrilling ABUNDANCE comes from taking a chance on our good, reoccurring ideas, even if it means sacrifice and pain.
I truly believe that the unwanted and unexpected is my soul bringing me to better things I didn’t know was available.
And that the uncharted paths, the longer than anticipated paths,
and yes, even the paths of deep anguish & loneliness,
are the paths that have brought me to my favorite things.
The best things.
I am so sorry if you are currently on a path of loneliness and pain.
Different or new is not always wrong. Your efforts and your hope are not in vain.
Everlasting struggling just isn’t in His cards for you. The sun always rises & you are always God’s. And I am ELATED for you to take chance on Him intervening. And YES, it really is beautiful & blossoming & abundant. Better than we had hoped it would be.
xoxAL 🙂
And so I don’t leave it open ended, even though the point wasn’t really about my dad: most of you have been around long enough to know eventually me & my dad are closer than we had ever been, even pre baptism. And the fruits that come from it all, would not have come otherwise!! Sometimes it not working out, is it perfectly working out, because of the redirection that it brings to lead to those better things that wouldn’t have come otherwise!
MORE FROM AL! BOOKS: WILDLY OPTIMISTIC : GAINING NEW PERSPECTIVE TO LIFE’S CHALLENGES LIVE SCRIPTURE STUDY ON INSTAGRAM HERE MORE THAN THE TATTOOED MORMON: HERE CHEERS TO ETERNITY: HERE. SCRIPTURE STUDY JOURNAL: ROOTED FIRESIDE CD: CHOOSING GOD IN HARD TIMES INSTAGRAM: @ALCARRAWAY | FACEBOOK