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  • alcarraway

Dropped as an Investigator

A few elders later confessed to me, that they wrote in their journals after my very first time going to church that they would never see me there again.

And I was right there with them.

I was nottttttt going back to church. Adamant.

Nothing in me wanted to go back for any reason. To them and to myself, I was absolutely the LAST person that would ever get baptized. Even ask any of those who knew me! Everyone at some point, especially me, were sure about that.

But without even realizing what I was doing,I was already dressed with the same dress on (I only owned 1), driving back to church the following Sunday.

Which actually wasn’t even a dress, it was a strapless black covering you wear over bathing suits but it was all I had!

Back there again, even when I didn’t think I wanted to.

It was as if my soul was pulling me on its own, knowing what I needed before I ever knew what I needed. And not just to church but, subconsciously being pulled and just drawn to keep showing up to my lessons, to my knees, to my God.

Because my soul needed it.

2009 vs. 2021

And feelin grateful that it’s not up to us to choose who is “ready” or not, who are we to decide who is “ready” for a God that *is* THEIRS?!


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