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  • alcarraway

Modern-day Murmuring

Maybe I’ll regret posting this. Maybe I’ll delete it later…

I always have lots of thoughts – and most of them belong in my journal for only me to read.

Maybe this is one of them.

It’s easy to spot murmuring in scriptures – but maybe because we aren’t the ones going through it, or maybe because we already know the outcome and reason to what is being asked.

But modern-day murmuring is different. It’s hidden behind and masked as concern or logic or passion.

We unconsciously counsel the Lord based on what we think is best based off of the information we have been given as our personal part in the world.

It’s been really interesting going online this past week after President Nelson’s announcement to refer to ourselves by the full name of our church. Seems little, right? It’s not. Many are really struggling with it.

“Why this? Why right now? Why not that? Couldn’t time and resources be spent on better things?”

I usually feel confident in knowing what things to address or not on my pages. Not this time. A few days passed with this on my mind without saying anything, and today I felt the uneasiness reach an unbearable level. I felt as though if I didn’t write anything in some form, I would physically pay terrible consequences of lack of focus and lack of peace in every bit of my life. I am still learning. I am still growing. I am still very wrong on most things.

It’s interesting, living in the times that we do. We all know things we need to stray from and avoid because of the example of history in the scriptures. But like the famous quote on pride, we rarely see it in ourselves. It’s all masked by our feelings being our realities, and our realities can’t be wrong. Right????

I understand quite clearly now that those who murmured and were ‘unrighteous” in scriptures, probably didn’t feel like they were “wicked” in the moment. Perhaps just confused. Or hurt. Or simply being logical on what makes perfect human sense.

But the spirit isn’t always logical. It’s spiritual.

And I cannot get the quote from Elder Uchtdorf’ out of mind, when He asks if we really need to follow all the Lord reveals and asks of us, “I think God knows something we don’t.”

Looking beyond the mark is a warning in scriptures & a warning over general conference pulpits. But, GAH, how hard it is to see when our priorities and our passions are not the same order as the Lord’s priorities. I get that. I struggle continuously with that. But looking beyond the mark is a subtle snare the adversary does to really pull us away from progress and growth with God and the separation of the world’s ways to His ways.

Who knew how easy it would be to be influenced by the confusion and the hurt of the world? How dictating the worldly trends could be with our time. Who knew how damaging the distractions of good things are to keep us from the best things? Who knew just how easy it would be to over complicate enduring? Who knew the subtleties of the adversary could be so damaging, and yet so hard to pick up on sometimes?

Perhaps we can take a step back and be SO ELATED by the fact we have a PROPHET WHO TALKS TO GOD! A living prophet. Speaking to a living God. That is something to marvel at! That is a reality that should never get belittled.

We can then remember all that we have- and be profoundly grateful that God knows a whole lot that we don’t, and we are absolutely being led to the best ever created. If we just hearken. And accept. And remember all the knowledge and truths and resources we have! Sometimes people go their whole life searching for the answers and guidance we have and never find it.

I AM ELATED to participate in a living, breathing gospel that grows through revelation daily. I am ELATED to participate in anything God sees fit, regardless of our narrow-mindedness and personal pursuits. BECAUSE WHAT A MIRACLE IT IS TO KNOW & SEE THAT GOD IS HERE – RIGHT NOW – DIRECTING.

Elated to participate in the restoration. Which, like Elder Uchtdorf said, is not an event. It’s ongoing. It’s continual. “We are living it right now.”

I hope we don’t lose sight of that.

I hope we don’t get caught up in really appealing and realistic snares that chime to our personal vision, and become like who Elder Uchtdorf warns members of being “like passengers on an airplane who spend their time grumbling about the size of the packet of peanuts while they are soaring through the air, far above the clouds—something ancient kings would have given all they possessed to try and experience just once!”

‪I fall short and get distracted often. I am a victim to subtle snares more than I even realize. But also, I went far too long without a prophet in my life and far too long without God, and this week has left me humbled & excited & tear-filled grateful.

And if there are heartfelt questions & reassurance that’s needed with this revelation, or any revelation to come– I hope we take the time to actually turn to Him & open up & take advantage of His promises to pour upon us counsel & knowledge & testimony & comfort when we study it out in our minds & take it to Him & ALLOW Him the opportunity to step in & help us grow.

xox AL

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