BLOG

Nov 2, 2021
1 min

When God Doesn’t Listen

If we aren’t seeing what we are asking for, we feel God is not listening. If we ware’t getting what we are pleading for, we say God is not there. But God is NOT only good when we get what we want and miracles are NOT defined as avoidance & prevention. If Christ would have prevented Lazarus from dying—mass conversion would have never happened. If Old Testament Joseph never went into a hole, to salvery, to prison—he never would have saved an entire civilization & become a leade

Jun 8, 2021
2 min

Peter Was the Only One Who Got Off the Boat

It’s true, right? That’s what we do with Peter on the water. & that’s what we do to ourselves. but before we get trapped in the critique, please recognize: PETER IS THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT OUT OF THE BOAT!! He is the only one who tried, who did SOMETHING. He is the only one that experienced & accomplished something new & something different & something better! & He was the one who made it closer to Christ b/c of it all. Like most things, the adversary skews our perspective–

Dec 13, 2020
2 min

Darkness turned Sacred

During this pandemic we have lived in 3 different houses in 2 different states, AND then also our time where we didn’t have a house at all—and were houseless. We struggled. A lot. And I realized what a terrible disservice I would be doing my kids if I shielded my kids from my struggling. I was stretched thin. I lost it. A lot. I hardly ever cry, I’m not much of a crier, but I think I cried every day in there. And there my kids were- experiencing it with me b/c they had no ot

Nov 22, 2020
1 min

Amongst the sad, the dark, the confusing & exhausting

Do you have a word? Or a phrase? Is that like, a New Years thing you may do for the year? I don’t. But unintentionally my spirit kept reminding me of one through this entire year, repeatedly, is: peace Either I was at peace at an unexpected time or desperately seeking it. This week I was in the desperately seeking column. This picture right here, today, at the publication site for the Book of Mormon… standing on original floors, seeing original ink splats, watching how the b

Sep 13, 2020
2 min

houseless.

Ben & I have been taking a lot of showers together to talk. It’s what we do. If you have been following us on social media, you know very well us moving from AZ to NY, and the dreadful challenges that have prevented us closing on our house. We currently have been in a hotel for 32 days and counting. And although our situation has not changed & there is no timeline for an end, we’re in a gooood head space. How freaky parallel we are to the whole barges thing. The barges are b

Jun 28, 2020
3 min

This Isn’t How Things Should Be…

This isn’t how things are supposed to be going …! I’m not where I want to be …! Things… should be different…! And we plead and we pick apart and we demand why from God or where is God?! …It’s easy to think we know better when we observe things with our mortal eyes and with the knowledge we have been given. When things don’t seem to add up for us, we ask God why He is doing something a certain way with us or our situations. Like in Jacob, when the laborer asks, “Why are you b

Mar 25, 2020
2 min

Amidst the Darkness–

When saints were traveling west, there was 1 night counted terrible among the many bad- A night of destruction & hatred against the tired and sacrificing saints–they were assaulted, murdered, driven out at gunpoint, and chased in the middle of the freezing night, separated from their few belongings, and more tragically, their family. Forced off course and into the FREEZING Missouri River to escape their potential death, thousands of Saints were stuck in mud, terrified, hungry

Dec 8, 2019
5 min

I Was Under My Table Crying…

Ben & I had an awesome morning together with great conversation. Soon after eating, he left to drop off packages at the post office. I was crawling under our table picking up things that fell off the table from the kids, and as soon as the door closed behind him, I unconsciously burst into tears. I sat underneath our dining room table and cried an ugly cry for twenty whole minutes. What a sight that was. So there I was, alone. Under my table. Hysterical. Clearly, I was doing

Oct 27, 2019
6 min

When Our Trials Don’t End

If it’s true we have an all- knowing, all-powerful God on our side, why does He feel distant from us sometimes? Why do we feel as though we sometimes cannot feel or see? Why does it seem sometimes that our time at the well, alone—has been too long and maybe He’s not coming? For one of my Sunday school lessons I did in the past, I had my husband sneak out during sacrament meeting and tape a gold star to the wall of our classroom because he is taller and can get it higher up th

Aug 14, 2019
2 min

Wildly Optimistic; Gaining New Perspective for Life’s Challenges

JUST RELEASED: CLICK HERE Life is filled with hard, unexpected, unwanted, and uncharted paths. It’s filled with challenges that make us wonder if God is really guiding our lives. Does He still care about us? Is He really good? Is He even there at all? But what if there’s another way to look at it? In her book, Wildly Optimistic, Al Carraway offers new methods and perspectives for life’s inevitable challenges. With her trademark honesty, optimism, and love for the Lord, she

Aug 11, 2019
5 min

Is God Always Good?

Is God good even when things are not? I found myself saying, “God is so good,” the other day after finally hearing good news for once at the baby doctor. But was God still good all the times I left hearing bad news? Was He still good after I received a high-risk diagnostic? Was He still good after continued and unfolding complications? Was God good when I joined the Church and I lost my friends and had years of silence from some family members? What of mine and my husband’s

Jul 7, 2019
2 min

When Things Get Worse

Joseph in the Old Testament was excited about the future he had. Visions of being a leader with parents who favored him, it definitely seemed like justified excitement for the path he was to live. Life was good. Until it wasn’t. He went from being abandoned in a hole – slavery – prison. This is most definitely not the life he wanted to live. And this is most definitely not the life he felt he was promised to live, either. Sometimes we feel like Jospeh where life goes unexpect

Apr 26, 2019
2 min

Are We the Exception to Relief or Blessings?

Like in Ether, sometimes we feel we are crossing great storms buried in the sea in darkness, but the light we do have, even if it may seem as small as a stone, will be what you need to make it through. And it’s just not making it through this lifetime, because it’s not ever about just making it to the end and hope for a better go at it in the next round; the hereafter. Because like in Ether, life didn’t end for them when they reached land. It wasn’t the end to the story or to

Dec 7, 2018
2 min

Remembering the Who vs. the What

Been in a weird whatever lately trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing with my time & my life & the season that I’m in. I don’t know— I don’t know how to explain it. Ever since NY I’ve been in a new chapter. .. I’ve never not worked full-time, like now. And since I was traveling speaking every weekend since I got here, I have pushed aside figuring out what all the things are exactly I should be doing & working on & towards & figuring out my new role & so on an

Nov 10, 2018
1 min

Choosing God in Hard Times

Ever wonder where God is? Ever yell at Him wondering why things are/were so indescribably hard? Wonder if all your prayers really are heard? Or why you were asked to go through something so unwanted? Ever wonder if He cares about you? Or if He is even there at all? ‘Cuz same. But I’ve dedicated so much to travel & talk about the hard & real & HOW to choose God in hard times. How to keep going when you feel like you can’t. How to be happy & optimistic when you feel l

Oct 26, 2018
3 min

Carest Thou Not That I’m Struggling?!’

It is well known the raging storm that caused the apostles to yell, “Carest thou not that we perish?!” But perhaps maybe we can more see ourselves in our personal storms & our heavy thoughts & passing doubts & our pleadings of: ‘Carest thou not that I’m struggling?!’ Carest thou not that this is SO hard?! That this was unwanted? That I don’t deserve this? Thats this has been going on for TOO long? Carest thou not…that I don’t think I can go on…?! Carest thou not…about ME? Lik

Oct 7, 2018
2 min

Our MOST Bitter Pain & Anguish of Soul

For 3 ENTIRE DAYS & 3 entire nights – nonstop – he was in the MOST BITTER pain. Torment. No breaks. No let-ups. Just paralyzing anguish that kept him crying to God. Completely consuming that whole time. But then… after the longest passing time of immobilizing struggle, he found peace to his soul. And so sometimes we feel like things are THE MOST consuming & THE WORST anguish– and we agonize over the passing time with no breaks or let ups– and we have to make the decision

Aug 29, 2018
4 min

After I Got Baptized, Things Really Sucked…

After I got baptized, my life fell.apart. And I’m not exaggerating. Now, if you’ve heard me speak or read my book, than you know this. But I also realized today that the 191K of you following me on Instagram have not heard me speak or read my book & this isn’t common knowledge to most of you guys. I’ve never known loneliness until I got baptized. I’ve never known such painful sacrifice & loss until I joined the Church. I’ve never known real pain until then. Indescribable ang

Jan 5, 2018
2 min

I Forgot We Could Do This…!

😞AHHHHH man, I had a LONG day the other day where–one thing after another, it seemed– went wrong or got worst. I, myself, didn’t do a single thing to try and make it better, I just let it happen and even expected more things to go wrong. I watched the clock, sloowwwlllyyy counting down until the day ended. 8:30 pm, I was sitting at the kitchen table typing some thoughts. Ben grabbed my arm to try and pull me up. I fought against his attempt to make me do anything than what I

Dec 30, 2016
4 min

Bringing a Trial into the New Year

Last New Year’s we were living in Arizona and we were right in the middle of the longest and hardest trial we have had to go through thus far. I had gotten laid off months previous due to budget cuts. And since I was working remotely, they couldn’t renew my contract and I was one of the first to go. Come New Year’s we had been living off of our savings for 5 months already and it was quickly dwindling away right in front of our eyes. It was hard to plan and enjoy anything whe